R.I.P., Lou Gossett, Jr.

Very sorry to hear that we lost Lou Gossett, Jr., who I've loved in everything from A RAISIN IN THE SUN to WATCHMEN. 

 

On this blog, I've had things to say about Gossett films like FIREWALKER, ENEMY MINE (one of his best!), JAWS 3-D, THE PRINCIPAL, and BLUE CHIPS. 

Quite often I wrote something along the lines of "Lou Gossett, Jr. deserves better," but he brought his all to these films, whether they were genuine Oscar bait, low budget genre flicks, absurdist Cannon Films, or A-list actioners. R.I.P.

R.I.P., M. Emmet Walsh

 

I was saddened to learn of the death of perennial "irascible old man" character actor M. Emmet Walsh, maybe best known for BLOOD SIMPLE, but also BLADE RUNNER, STRAIGHT TIME, WHITE SANDS, THE GLASS SHIELD, CANNERY ROW, CRITTERS, MISSING IN ACTION, one of the most memorable episodes of TALES FROM THE CRYPT, and a whole raft of others. R.I.P.

"Dr. Bronner's or Dr. Strangelove?" in Slackjaw Magazine

In honor of the 60th Anniversary of Stanley Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, I have a new humor piece up in Slackjaw Magazine.

R.I.P., Carl Weathers

 

Sean Gill's "The Marked Book" Anthologized by The Lascaux Review

My short story "The Marked Book," which first appeared in The Iowa Review and was a finalist for the 2022 Lascaux Prize in Flash Fiction, is newly anthologized in The Lascaux Review prize issue, Volume 10, which is available to purchase in print.

Sean Gill's "Join Hands" Anthologized by the Scottish Arts Trust

My short story "Join Hands," which won the the Third Prize of the 2023 Edinburgh Award for Flash Fiction (judged by Zoë Strachan and Louise Welsh), is featured in the Scottish Arts Trust's latest anthology, Solemates and Other Stories, which is now available to purchase in print and electronically.

Only now does it occur to me... SANTA WITH MUSCLES (1996)

Only now does it occur to me...  I never thought I'd witness a Christmas-themed off-brand lightsaber duel between Ed Begley, Jr. and Hulk Hogan.

 

 

And yet, this is indeed the final setpiece of SANTA WITH MUSCLES, a comedy-fantasy-actioner produced by Jordan Belfort, the real-life inspiration for THE WOLF OF WALL STREET. This last part actually makes sense, given that this is a movie which smacks deeply of money laundering.

I can give you a little more context, even though you haven't asked for it.

 

The premise of SANTA WITH MUSCLES is that Hulk Hogan plays a rich jerk who made his fortune in questionable dietary supplements

and spends his days lecturing his sizeable staff about philosophy, self-defense, and paintball.

During one of the Hulkster's paintball tournaments, his scofflaw behavior attracts the attention of the local police (depicted by Clint Howard, lending this a real New World Pictures/lesser Corman vibe).

In the subsequent chase sequence, the Hulkster suffers a brain injury leaving him convinced that he is Santa Claus.

When gang members mess with him at a local mall, the Hulkster's heroic actions––in character as Santa––earn him minor celebrity as "Santa With Muscles."'

Note: S&M accoutrement

This leads to his involvement with a local orphanage, which is under siege from the minions of mad scientist Ed Begley, Jr. The orphanage sits upon a cave of magic crystals which Begley, Jr. requires for his experiments (?).

The orphanage also contains the theatrical film debut of Mila Kunis,

who manages to emerge from this thing relatively unscathed, 

even though she is saddled with one-liners like "Keep your pants on, Q-tip!"

As far as I can tell, the only time she has been asked about this in adult life was during a 2011 interview with GQ. The following represents the extent of her public comment:

GQ: [asks about Santa with Muscles]

Mila Kunis: Jesus. You did not watch Santa with Muscles.

GQ: Fine. I watched the trailer on YouTube.

Mila Kunis: I was too young to fully understand the importance of working with Hulk Hogan. I just thought he was this huge man.

That's just shoddy journalism, GQ, only watching the trailer. That's why you come to Junta Juleil's Culture Shock, to learn all the important info the glossies and the trades are too lazy to tell you.

The orphanage also contains Adam Wylie, a.k.a. "the kid from PICKET FENCES,"

and Garrett Morris (SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE from 1975-1980, COOLEY HIGH, THE STUFF). The earnestness of Garrett's performance actually makes me sad that they made him do this. He deserves better.

Anyway, Begley Jr.'s interest in the magic crystal cave is what leads to the aforementioned ersatz lightsaber duel. It's not the first time that the Hulkster has flirted with a STAR WAR. Happy holidays, I suppose?

Sean Gill's "Classic Florida Literature: On the Novelization of Porky's II: The Next Day" in Evergreen Review

My latest essay, "Classic Florida Literature: On the Novelization of Porky's II: The Next Day" has been published online by Evergreen Review, a longstanding literary journal, founded in 1957, and known for publishing Samuel Beckett, Jean Genet, Vladimir Nabokov, Susan Sontag... and now an essay about the paperback tie-in of Porky's II.